Who has a sad acrylic knit sitting in the back of their wardrobe that is pulled out only once a year in jest? Well, next year will be a different story, because in 2017 the ironic jumper is being luxuriously reimagined to serve you all year round.

The pristine white peaks of Fair Isle often starred in mid-century Christmas adverts that projected the family ideal. But over time the cutesy emblems slowly entered the extra-ironic territory. Teddy bears, sequin snowmen and flashing Christmas trees – the uglier the better. And if pre-fall 2017 is anything to go by, gaudy is back. Intertwined with an undeniable 1980s redux, kitsch motifs and knitting patterns are now firmly entrenched in high fashion.

And while Fendi’s red half-sleeve sweater could easily be rocked around the Christmas tree on Brenda Lee’s ample bosom, many of these pieces also translate to everyday wear. Gucci incorporated cats and bunny rabbits into their knitwear and Coach appliquéd soppy golden retrievers onto fluffy mohair. Missoni mixed it up with oversized, multi-coloured chunky knits while Victoria Beckham kept it classic in Fair Isle (but doubled up with a matching knitted skirt for maximum impact).

It’s not too late to buy a Christmas jumper. Just wear it on New Year’s Eve, or on your birthday. If you can’t wait until pre-fall drops, here are the five naff knits that will see you through to next year, and many more Christmases to come:

A.P.C Romy sweater, £215 This A.P.C sweater will have you smiling like a 1950s housewife in no time.

Acne Zora sweatshirt, £350 We can see this Acne multi coloured speckled knit in WHAM’s “Last Christmas” video.

Prada wool and cashmere jumper, £545 If bright colours aren’t for you, tone it down with Prada’s monochrome pixelated robots.

Thom Browne seaside jumper, £420 Thom Browne shows us that jumpers are for summer too.

Stella McCartney fishes instarsia jumper, £525 Stella McCartney takes kitsch animal motifs that bit further with her three knitted fish on a lurid orange wool.


Text by Abigail Southan